


Clumsy and Awkward

by bluehappyking



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Agents of SHIELD, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Science Babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 01:50:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3339326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluehappyking/pseuds/bluehappyking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As requested by anon, some Fitzsimmons first sexy time. We'll get into it, don't worry :P Jemma goes to talk to Fitz in the lab and it's *the talk.* However, especially for someone like Leo Fitz who struggles with his words, actions are a better way to express these feelings. Set after 2x10 (we miss you Tripp x)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The days which had been dark were slowly getting lighter, or at least, more bearable. Following the death of Antoine Triplett, a light had gone out in the hearts of every one of the team. Even in those who didn’t know him as well as others, there was a lull in the mood, but it was starting to pick up by itself over time. After all, it couldn’t get much worse.

The funeral a week ago gave them some closure and everyone had their own way to deal with it. May, silent as usual, focussed on working out and Coulson retired to his office trying to continue on with S.H.I.E.L.D business. Skye, learning to control her powers was at the top of the list, but alas, that’s whole other story. The newer members of the team - Bobbi, Lance, Mack - surely there was something going on between them? It was always secretive between Bobbi and Mack and as for her and Lance? Well, who knows where that’s heading.

As for Fitzsimmons - as the team collectively called them - they had their own way to deal with the loss of Tripp. Fitz was still feeling guilt from how he’d treated the man when they’d first met - it wasn’t Tripp’s fault that he was taller, with a better build, skilled in ways Fitz wouldn’t know about, and more appealing to Jemma than he was. They worked things out in the end and their bridges were built at least. Still, it wouldn’t be the same without him around...

Jemma had a different cross to bear. Her feelings for Tripp had never really been confronted by her heart. After all, she had found the man attractive, certainly, and they’d had some chemistry, but the kind of chemistry of something past rather than something that could’ve developed into something. A nice idea, but nothing more she felt. After all, he wasn’t the one who had ended her sentences for the previous ten years or had always been dependable. Leo Fitz would always have given his life for Jemma, and yet she left him. But she’d never had the chance to explain - oh, she wished he would have let her tell him. 

But why not now? After all, she was just in the lab by herself looking over the report on Mack - he hadn’t shown signs of being ‘possessed’ since they’d all escaped the temple. There was no progress to be made - sometimes things can’t be explained by scientific reasoning. Feelings, for one, couldn’t be examined under a microscope - although, if they were, maybe Jemma would’ve spotted them sooner.

She stood up, taking off her lab-coat and straightening out her black blouse from her new wardrobe at HYDRA. She wasn’t keen on the change of image herself - she felt far more comfortable in her dorky jumpers and ties. It didn’t seem right though - she wasn’t who was used to be. Also, she was never good at tying a tie - she always got Fitz to show her how. Now, he wasn’t even able to do his own. Oh, poor Fitz.

Jemma recalled her reasoning for getting up and slowly exited the lab, looking both ways out of the door, even though it wasn’t a crime or a secret for her to go see her once-best friend. She breathed heavily - at least the walk would provide her with some time to think about their situation. 

She’d been feeling different lately - especially in her time at HYDRA. When you’re next to someone every day, or the ‘whole damn time’ (the way Fitz said that to her once made her heart judder a little), you don’t always notice it. However, the months she’d been forced to leave the only constant part of her life and spend it without him, she’d missed him. Every day. Not even in the way of them just being friends - she missed having him in her life. Even little things - she saw something that reminded her of a memory at the academy, or wanted a second opinion - he was the only one who she wanted to tell. If anything exciting happened, she’d tell him - he was her first port of call. 

Now - she was just keeping things to herself. She must have had a list of about 30 things she could start a conversation with, but words aren’t easy - even for someone who hadn’t suffered the damage Fitz had undergone.

They hadn’t really talked much - her and Fitz - since the temple. She’d wanted to go down to help Tripp, but Fitz grabbed her first. His actions were faster than his words and before she knew it, he was holding her and for a moment she was whisked back. The hug felt different this time. Maybe it was because it had been so long since they’d touched, or maybe it was because they were back to how they were again. Just for a moment. 

When the rumbling had stopped, the way he’d looked into her eyes (in fact, the same way he’d looked in her eyes for most of the time they’d been friends) made something quiver inside her now. Her brown eyes meeting his blue. She could still remember the breath she’d inhaled as he held her there for a while. It was all halted of course as Bobbi and Lance ran in from goodness knows where and the moment had been lost. They hadn’t spoken since, they hadn’t really even discussed it. The focus had been on their shared loss of a friend.

Jemma walked towards their old place. Their lab which was now the garage. A place that Fitz had retreated into because he didn’t want to be around her. She felt like she was invading his space by going in there, but this was something that had to be done. They had to talk and this time, she was going to make sure she went first.

Fitz was there in the corner (luckily, Mack wasn’t there - she still wasn’t sure what to make of him), looking at their D.W.A.R.V.E.S. in a blue checked shirt. He’d worn it before and it was almost as if they were back in their lab as normal. It was far from that in reality. 

Jemma wasn’t sure how to greet him, so she just knocked on the glass with trembling hands and Fitz looked up. He looked at her with an open mouth slightly but then swallowed back and spoke.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi...” she replied and exhaled. “I erm...” she tutted to herself knowing that she had to speak, but instead stepped forward. “How are you?” she chickened out. “Erm...silly question isn’t it? How...what’re you looking at?”

Leo Fitz himself was quite shocked at the fact Jemma Simmons had come to see him. After all, whilst his hallucinations had ceased, he still couldn’t quite believe that she was really there. 

“I’m just...” his hand slipped and one of the D.W.A.R.V.E.S, sleepy possibly, fell onto the floor. “Damn it.” He picked it up, giving Jemma a chance to walk closer. “Working on the data from...the...rock place...the...”

“The temple?” she suggested and he nodded. They’d been more in sync lately. She smiled flatly at that.

“Did you want...something or...? Sorry, not that you can’t be here it’s...” he tried to avoid her gaze but saw her little face looking up at him and looked down at her.

“I want...” her lips forced words out. “I want to talk...”

“About Tripp? I’m sorry I haven’t been...”

“About us,” she nodded and he looked at her. “Please Fitz, I need to ex...”

“You don’t have to, I know you’re not...”

“No, no please...” she held her hands together in front of her, linking her fingers and then bit her lip slightly in nervousness. “Let me talk this time. I...” she sighed - gosh it would be harder than she thought and tears appeared in her eyes. “It all happened so fast. When you were saying those things and we were at the bottom of the ocean and...you didn’t give me a chance to reply. I was thrown, I was...”

“Well, forgive me but I thought we were going to...”

“No, Fitz, no...” she put a hand on his arm and another up to his face - hovering close by, silencing him. “I didn’t answer then, because I thought I was about to lose you. I had no time and you know that since then I wanted you to recover. If...if it hadn’t been for me making you worse I would have but you...” she sighed. “I know about her.”

“About who?” he asked in confusion but her look confirmed it. He looked down in sheer shame. After all, how creepy and messed up was it to hallucinate someone? He hated her seeing him like this and his hand started to twitch. He had to shake it as words swirled in his mind. 

“I didn’t want to go. If I’d known it wouldn’t have helped, of course I would’ve stayed, but I did. I did make you worse, I still do...” she held back a sob. “Fitz, you won’t even look at me because you blame me...”

“I don’t...I...”

“You do, you do...” the sob escaped and she dried her eyes and blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry. I am...but I thought it was for the best...”

“But I wanted to keep you safe, even if I wasn’t respor...respond er...well, at least you were here? Where I could keep a...an eye on you. I pressed that button in the pod to save you, Jemma. You go to HYDRA and I thought I’d lost you...all the things that could’ve happened. Brain...wash...brainwashing. If that had happened and you left because of me...”

“No, I...I had to make you better Fitz...I...” but as Jemma saw the look in his eyes, it was their joint realisation that they had reached an impasse. She’d wanted to protect him and he’d wanted to protect her. He thought that she left because she didn’t want him and she thought he blamed her for going. How could two people who knew what the other was thinking so well that they could complete each other’s sentences be so disjointed?

Jemma had to hold back tears and she turned away from Fitz. 

“What happened to...us...?” Fitz muttered and sighed, his hand playing up again.

“I want it back,” Jemma turned to face him. “I want us back,” she gestured between them. “I want to be able to...to tell you things that happen, I want to make you tea and sandwiches again. Proscuitto and buffalo mozarella with...”

“...just a hint of pesto aioli.” Fitz ended her sentence - the two in time again. Their eyes met and their breathing filled the room. “I want it too, not just the sandwiches but...us...Fitz and Simmons.”

“Jemma and...Leo,” she breathed out his last name and it was then she realised. She couldn’t imagine her life without him because her life was meant to be with him. 

Jemma took a couple of running steps and flung her arms around her best friend - oh my, it felt good to hold him and as he wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her back tightly she shuddered. She’d wanted this for longer than she’d realised and now she couldn’t wait any longer. She held her head up and kissed him very quickly that she had forced his head back with the motion. She gasped quickly and put a hand to her mouth.

“Oh Fitz, I’m so sor...”

But it wasn’t a time for apologies because Fitz placed his lips onto hers and kissed her longingly - because he’d wanted this for so long. He was tense for a moment, but then when Simmons relaxed into it, placing her hand on his shoulder, and he knew he hadn’t made a mistake. But...wait...did she want him out of grief for Tripp or...?

He broke off.

“No...oh Fitz don’t stop...” she tried to come back but he held her head back from his. 

“Is this...rebound? From...Tripp?”

“What? No! Of course not, Fitz...”

“You had feelings for him.”

“Fitz...” she said in her comforting voice - she looked beautiful, as always. She held her hand up from his shoulder and to his cheek and lifted it up into his hair - her other hand held his own, the damaged one. “You’re my soul mate. Tripp was a wonderful man, but a friend. You’re my best friend, a wonderful, kind man, and...you’re my hero. I knew something was missing all that time I was alone. It was you. I’m sorry I didn’t realise sooner, but you mean more to me than anything. There’s no one, no one that can compare to you...you, Leopold Fitz...”

He knew in her eyes that the meaning was there and she nodded to confirm, because he couldn’t quite believe it. She squeezed his hand tighter and tiptoed up to place her face closer to him and kissed him once more.

Fitz knew that he had never been great with confessing feelings, and even less so now that he was having trouble talking, so he had to let things happen through his actions. After all, at least he still had those.

He returned the kiss, more passionately because if he knew Jemma (and of course he did), she was the kind of girl to be polite about the subject. This yearning had been inside of him for a long time and he had to take charge. With his good hand, he ran his fingers into her soft hair and then gently down her spine, making her smile through her kisses and he felt her hands in his own hair. He didn’t know where to put his other hand, his damaged one, so put it back around her waist again and placed his other on the other side. She leant back on the side of one of the work table’s in the garage - incidentally where their main workspace had been in the lab - and broke off slowly, but so their noses were still touching. 

“I’m not...good with words...” he confessed, although she knew that already.

“You don’t have to be,” she let her hands drop from his cheeks and down to his shoulders. He held her closer to him, using his good hand to hold her up slightly before doing something he’d visualised quite a lot in his mind, but had of course never had the courage to do. He pushed Mack’s things off and lifted his girl in his arms, placing her on the work space. She invited him in closer by wrapping her legs around his waist and lying back.

“Mack won’t mind will he? Oh, another stupid question,” she said as he held her arms down with his hands. 

“Are you sure about this? Are we...you and me...are...?”

“I’m sure...I think...” she bit her lip again but with a smile.

“You’re sure and you think?” he mocked her slightly and she laughed. “I don’t want this to...be...dissap...bad for you...I’m not that...”

“And you think I am?” she replied and smiled. “Leo, it’s us. It’s not going to be perfect, it’ll probably in fact be quite clumsy and awkward.” He smiled at that - he hadn’t done that for a while, smile. “But, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Those words meant so much...

Which is why he rushed over to the door of the lab and locked it from inside. Because, after all, they were going to need a little privacy...


	2. Chapter 2

Kisses were given back and forth in a mixture of endearment and passion after Leo Fitz rejoined Jemma Simmons at the work space. Here he was, climbing onto the work space with her below him and for the first time in a while, he felt in control of things.

“Oh Fitz,” she said from below. “I can’t believe we’re...really going to do this! I mean, of course I want to, I really do, I...”

“Shh...Jemma,” he smiled at her and nuzzled his nose against hers before moving his kisses towards her neck - nicely visible in these new blouses compared to her old jumpers.

“Sorry, I talk too much when I’m nervous. Just go on and on...I’m not nervous, it’s just odd, you and me and I haven’t had that long to process it, compared to you so it’s a very new and un-familiar place for me to be and oh my goodness, Leo that feels amazing! You certainly know what you are doing!”

“Well, like you said I’ve had longer to process this...” he said, proud to be able to speak without his stutter. After all, his brain was thinking more about other things than words now.

“It’s not your first time is it? Oh no, of course not, you were dating that girl from the academy for a while weren’t you, oh what was her name, I’ve for...sorry, sorry I’m doing it again. Going on and on...”

Fitz just smiled and paused for a while to look at her face.

“I can’t believe it either,” he just said simply and she returned that warm smile that made him tingle and that girlish giggle.

“I guess we should continue then?” she suggested. “Erm, may I?” She indicated his shirt and he wasn’t sure but shrugged where there should have really been a nod. He then did the latter motion and she smiled with a small ‘oh!’ and started to undo his buttons. He felt it was appropriate to try hers too, but they ended up laughing as their hands knocked against each other.

“Yeah, you first,” he told her and she nodded. It wasn’t as if it was something they hadn’t seen before - there were a few embarrassing incidents at the academy, but they were younger then. Even now, Fitz felt he was coming over shy but more than that, he was completely in awe of the beauty before him and started to kiss her all over again.

It didn’t take long before the two had plucked up the courage and checked for other people in the area (they’d shut the door of the plane in case anyone did show up unexpectedly) and begun their clumsy, awkward physical relationship. It naturally took a while as they were both nervous, but after the first 13 minutes, Jemma and Leo were as one. She (as he’d expected) was quite a vocal participant which caused a few interuptions with his hand over her mouth or kisses there to quieten her, but it made him feel quite powerful hearing her yelling out his name. No one would hear anyway, they were too far away from the main base. Fitz did wonder though how they would progress after this. Whilst they both seemed to be back to their old selves, the reality was different. He had had feelings for her for longer and of course, there was still the doubt in his mind that maybe she was feeling things out of necessity or pity. However, before he could consider it, their time was up and his mind focussed on her again.

Jemma breathed heavily, her shorter hair a mess and laughed to herself.

“Oh my,” she said and Fitz smiled. His damaged hand hurt a bit more than usual, but he didn’t mind. He sat himself up on the edge of the work space and Simmons sat up next to him, leaning into his shoulder. He put an arm around her waist and the two just sat there for a while. “Did that really...did it happen? Gosh, I feel so...bad! Skye would laugh if she saw me now. Jemma Simmons, you’re breaking the rules...” She said in a shocking American accent which made Fitz smile even more. “I...” she put a hand on his. “I’m sorry, for all the things that happened between us. I want to make it right...”

“I only want you make...make it right like this if you...you want to. Not out of need...duty...” Fitz felt his words stutter again. She shook her head.

“I do want to. If you hadn’t guessed from that incident back there,” she pointed at the table. “Oh my...” she took herself off the work space and fumbled for her clothes and Fitz too decided it would be wise to do the same. “What should we tell the others?”

“I’m not...I hadn’t thought about it...was a bit busy,” Fitz smiled awkwardly and she wrinkled her nose at him and kissed him on the lips. Gosh, it felt better every time she did.

“I’m so happy we’re back to being us,” Simmons told him and he nodded, pushing her hair back into place as she cuddled him round the waist. “I think, we need to probably still talk about a few things.”

“I thought you’d be all talked out by now,” he flicked her on the nose and she rolled her eyes. “But yeah...you’re right. Cover all the bases. Not...not in that way,” he laughed. “We can though...at your pace.”

“I’d like that,” Jemma replied and planted another kiss on his lips as she put the rest of her clothes on.

Once the two were fully dressed and Fitz had cleaned and replaced Mack’s tools on the work space, he felt hungry and ready for tea. Was it too early to ask her to make him a sandwich? She however, had other ideas.

“Maybe after our talk tonight, we could...I don’t know, watch some doctor who? I have a cookie stash as well. We can dunk them in our tea again and just...curl up in bed?”

“I’d...I’d really like that,” Fitz replied and took her hand in his. “Thank you. For coming back to me.”

“I wish I’d never gone,” she confessed.

“I know, I’m still damaged but I...I want to try to be better...for you...”

“No Fitz, be better for yourself,” she said and the two walked out of the lab, hand in hand. “You don’t have to be anything other than you.”

She pressed the button lowering the plane door and they walked out and back towards the base, the two with smiles on their faces, giving each other small glances as they walked along. Fitz would sometimes stop and kiss her which made Simmons smile, but eventually the walk was over and they re-entered the base.

They were met, however, by the team gathered all together in Coulson’s office. The man turned around and faced them and the rest of the team did too, simultaneously.

“What’s going on?” Fitz asked and let go of Simmons’ hand.

But once again the earth moved beneath their feet (although in a different way to which it had been moved before) and the focus was on Skye.

“What? Can’t I be excited for Fitzsimmons finally hooking up?”

“Wha...what...?” the pair both looked at each other confused. It was then they saw a large screen behind Coulson with a dot representing each member of the team tracked by their lanyards. The older man broke into a smile and May even looked a little less stern in her face and nodded once. Skye and Bobbi wanted details from Jemma, whilst Lance just patted Fitz on the back and walked out saying he needed a beer.

“You’d better have not made a mess in there Turbo,” Mack told his friend and Fitz smiled, looking over at Jemma with the matching smile on her face. She caught his eye and he knew things would be better.

“No, I think we’ve just about cleared everything up...” was his reply.


End file.
